Seeking approval from others is an addiction. Your constant need to be the apple of people’s eyes leads to towards the addiction of seeking approval. You need to understand that no one can understand and value your worth more than “YOU”. Seeking attention from your loved one and approval from everyone around is two different things.
Reasons why you might seek approval:
According to psychology, low self-esteem could be an undying reason behind seeking approval. Low self-esteem is when someone lacks confidence about who they are and what they can do.
How to Break Free Of The Urge To Seek Approval?
- Know Your Value : You must know your value, do not determine your worth by other people’s view. It’s your life not there’s. They are responsible to themselves for their life; and you are responsible to yourself for your life. Don’t give up your “self” to please someone else.
- Everyone Is Different : People change, they have different values, outlooks and may want different things from us. It’s simply impossible to please everyone all of the time, or even most of the time. It is unrealistic to seek unanimity
- Recipe For Failure : You need to understand that spending your life trying to please others and validation is a recipe for failure and low self-esteem. It’s a pointless way to spend your life. It will stop you being happy and true to yourself.
- Be Kind To Yourself : Understand that we all are different, have different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, past experiences and things that we regret saying and doing. No one is perfect or can become a perfect human being. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Sit down, write your qualities and characteristics. If you find something missing learn it, no one is born genius. They become one by constant effort and working towards their own growth.
- Life Is Different : Life is different for everyone, we’re all on our journey. For some people journey is harder and more challenging than others. Perhaps you are dealing with obstacles that others don’t face.
- Set Your Priorities Straight : Think about what really matters to you, and the different goals you’d like to achieve – then set these as a priority. That is, decide what YOU want to do instead of worrying about what others would like you to do.
- Develop Your Self Esteem : Develop your self esteem from within. Decide on the type of person “YOU” want to be, and work on being true to that.
- Set A Plan : Develop a plan for the direction of your life. Focus your thinking, energy, choices and decisions around living a life that is meaningful to you. At the end of each day, check to ensure you’ve done something that is taking you in that direction.
- Work Towards Self Growth : Work on developing your self-reliance, so that although it is nice to have help and support from others, you’re not dependent upon it (or them). Also, being able to think, act and choose for yourself will greatly increase your self-confidence.
- Self Acceptance Is The Key : Work on accepting, valuing and loving yourself. Appreciate the good things about YOU. Notice your successes, and any moves towards living out your goals, and becoming the real you.
Related posts : How To Say “NO” And Stop People Pleasing Behaviour?
Choose to live in the moment. Decide not to keep going over the past, or worrying too much about what lies ahead. Notice and relish what is good about “right now”.-Apurva