How to be emotionally intelligent!

Majority of the time, emotions control us, instead of we are controlling the emotions.

How many times have we said this to some one?

“I am so sorry to raise my voice. I was angry and couldn’t control”

Or

“I am sorry broke my phone I throwed it away when I was angry”

Why? Do we have to be sorry for our own emotions?

Because you couldn’t control the emotion at the time – It was your Anger who was controlling you. This makes us hostages of our own emotions.

Emotions are a part of us just like any of our body parts. We experience so many emotions in our routine life, Sadness, Happiness, Guilt, Hate, Fear, Anger, etc. They influence our behavior towards ourselves and others, some time also build our character. We need to learn to drive them and not use them as an excuse for our impulsive behavior.

I am no saint; I have emotions too. However, I have changed my self for good. Anyone who has read my other blogs knows, I always talk about bringing a change. Well the change must come within you. My sister and I weren’t always best of friends when we were growing. We have had our share of fights, most of them were because I was being controlled by my emotions. I wasn’t thinking straight, she was younger than me I should have been there for her to make things easier for her. I should have looked after her. Instead I was impulsive, angry and fumed towards her. Thankfully, I have evolved over the last decade and learned to be emotionally intelligent. Let’s understand with time how can we drive our emotions and not let them drive us.

To be understood START understanding.

Understand yourself, understand your goals in life. It could be different for different people. Understand your intentions, responses, behavior and all that you do. So, when things don’t go your way, or your relationship with anyone goes sour at least you will be content knowing that your intentions were at the right place.

Control your actions not reactions

It is important to behave intelligently when one is emotional. I know it’s not easy, however not impossible. Remember, practice makes things easier. Understand other, and their feelings. Its Newton’s law “Each and every action, has equal and opposite reaction”. So, lets try and manage our emotions. Keep your emotions under control when things go wrong.

Self – Check

Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses? are you willing to accept that you are not perfect and that you could work on some areas to make yourself a better person? Check how you react to situations – do you become upset if – Something doesn’t happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it’s not their fault? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly- IT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

You will know the answer to all the above self-check questions. Start taking responsibilities for your actions. If you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize directly. Also, practice to control your emotions when things go wrong. We can’t always have things our way, being upset over it will never help.

Quick Tips:

  1. Take responsibility for our emotions and action
  2. Understand others, look at things from their point of view as well.
  3. Accept things/people the way they are.
  4. Understanding before wanting to be understood

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

-Apurva

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