1. Acknowledge and celebrate when you lean into your values, goals, and accomplishments. Do this no matter how insignificant your mind may tell you that it is and take note of the process and steps along the way.
2. Fully take in when someone is complimentary. Besides expressing appreciation, share what it means to you that they shared that sentiment.
3. Act with mindfulness and intentionality. The more you behave on behalf of who you truly want to be, the easier it is to be accepting of self-compassion and self-love.
4. Be aware of comparing yourself to others . You can only enhance when you are being a better version of yourself, rather than focusing on being better than others or an unrealistic ideal.
5. Practice being mindful and being in the present moment. It helps to give you space between the thinking, feeling, and doing. It allows you to be more focused, intentional, and mindful in your actions.
6. Remember that your thoughts and feelings do not define who you fundamentally are. You cannot control your thoughts and feelings, only the actions you take on behalf of them. You can have “mean” or “unkind” thoughts and feelings and that does not equate to you being a mean or unkind person. You can still elect to practice being thoughtful and kind in your actions. You are not your thoughts and feelings.
7. Accept your imperfections as part of your humanness and allow yourself to make mistakes. Your imperfections may be underdeveloped parts of yourself that you can still grow. Evaluating, studying, being curious, and open to them can facilitate life lessons and immense personal growth and enhancement.
8. Internalize that you have many parts to you that make up who you are and how you function. Your value and worth do not lie central to one part of you. Sometimes we define ourselves solely by how we appear, how intelligent we are, etc.
9. Direct yourself toward personal validation. Notice when your mind is seeking it externally from others and direct it inward by asking: “How do I think and feel about this?” “What’s my perspective on it?” “How do I want to be?” and “What does this mean to me?”
10. Take every opportunity to challenge yourself and work toward self-love. Don’t underestimate that every action you take to be a better version of yourself, is a worthy and substantial one. Cultivate the mantra that “anything you do, is everything you do.” Every time you act kindly or thoughtfully, you make a better choice for yourself, or challenge yourself to do better, if noteworthy, and a moment to celebrate you and all that you are.
11. Surround yourself with people who build you up rather than knock you down. Embody the saying, “Be with others who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.” Relationships take relenting effort, but should not exhaust, diminish, or rob you of your sense of self-worth. If they do, then they are likely to make self-love impossible or more challenging for you to internalize.
12. Treat yourself as you would treat someone you love and exercise self-care. Sometimes when you think of others rather than yourself, it can lead you to be more open and compassionate. If that works for you, use that as a guide. Exercising self-care helps you to further accentuate your value and worthiness. This could take on many forms such as setting up realistic expectations, asking for what you need or support from others, doing something healthful and pleasurable, or saying something to yourself you may most need to hear in a moment of distress.
When practicing self-love be patient and persistent. Anything we truly want typically takes concerted time and effort. Self-love is forever evolving, must be practiced daily, and there is never any end point. It is a practice that brings us more personal fulfillment, joyfulness, and greater meaning in our lives.
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do
Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.