I have been living away from my family for close to 14 years now first for education and then for work.
So, When I lost my father, someone told me ” I’m sure you feel regretful since you weren’t there for more then a decade and I’m sure you could have done lot of things for him.”
To be honest the thought of regret did not even occur. Maybe if someone would have told me a similar thing few years back, I would have regretted bundle of things. However, we all grow right! We learn to be a better version of ourselves. One of my biggest learnings over the years is not live in regrets.
It’s not easy but also not impossible. Trust me with practice its achievable.
Down below are the few steps and ways to achieve it…
Do not live in your past, rather learn ACCEPT it
We all have a past. Past could be good bad and ugly. We all make mistakes we are no saints. The fact is we cannot change what has happened, so overthinking on why it happened and all the what if’s only makes things difficult for us. Let every decision that we make in our life’s leave with learning not regrets.
I’ll tell you a recent incident, we HAD a pair of lovebirds as pets at home. Me and my mom went out to run some errands and we forgot the love birds outside. When we came back a street cat came and ate them. I was so gloomy. However, accepting the fact that it has happened now was the only sensible option. My mom was disheartened with them gone more than any of us at home I wanted her to understand and accept the same fact, I got 2 new pairs for her. The idea is to learn and accept from the past. Don’t dwell on it.
I m sure anyone who is reading this, has an idea that we need MOVE ON in order to keep going still we don’t. Maybe we may not know HOW! One of the tested ways to move on from the feeling is talking about it. Even if it could be difficult for you to talk about your feelings, talk to a friend, family, or even your pet. Talking about your feelings will make you feel less alone. If talking is difficult write, a journal. Research has shown maintaining a journal is great for mental health too. Few years later, we may realize we were seating over nothing.
We are often too harsh on ourselves. Be kind to yourself. Stop beating yourself onto something you cannot change. Every time you feel annoyed over yourself, write it on a piece of paper and write I forgive you followed by your name. Trust me it works. Do it every time you are unhappy with yourself.
Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.– Roy T Bennett.