We can’t control what people think of us, We cannot control their reaction, We cannot control what they will extract out of your kind actions. The only thing that we can control is how we feel in amid of this world’s insanity.Apurva
Last year taught me to STOP few things to better positive mental health.
1. Expectations :
It’s natural to expect from the people you love, but when those expectations are not met you will end up being hurt and this need to change. Stop expecting from people, stop expecting even from your loved ones. Trust me, this will set you free. Let me share my magic trick, I love people around me for myself. If I do something for them that is also for my own happiness, cause if people close to me are unhappy I feel bad. When I cook for them, that is also for myself cause I can’t see them hungry. The point is, my actions for others is done out of my own free will and I feel better when I do these for them. It is unfair to burden them with EXPECTATIONS of returning the gesture.
2. Thinking About “What Will People Think” :
This is a fact, People will think and talk behind your back according to their sensibility. You cannot make people like you, the only thing you can do is become thick skin. Whenever you will be in trouble these so called people will not come to save you, so stop burning your own vibe for them. For example: When I was overweight people used to suggest me to join gym or mock me for looking a certain way or talk behind my back about how I look. And now when I am not overweight they still say how thin I have become, I must have starved myself and how sick I look now. I should gain weight. Some people will always find flaw in you. So instead of being affected by their opinions , be happy with yourself.
3. Comparing Yourself With Others :
We are the creation of almighty. He must have created us different for a reason, right! We all look different, speak in different tones, have different sensibilities, then why on earth “WE SHOULD COMPARE OURSELVES WITH OTHERS”!! We should accept ourself with the way we are, accept our perfections and imperfections both.
4. Believing What Others show :
Stop believing what others portrey on social media or in person as well. Life is full of twist and turns for everyone, sometimes to move away from reality people like to portray a fictional happy life. Be smart enough to understand it. If their life is as perfect as they represent then why would they tell you. Think of it in this way “If you find a bag full of Gold coins” would you go around telling everyone? No right!!! Focus on yourself and your loved ones, don’t burn yourself up thinking of the blissfulness of others life.
5. Living In Past :
Stop judging others by their past actions. Every one deserves a second chance to improve, hence don’t judge people by their past actions. If you see a change in their actions and behaviour towards you accept that, it could be a Positive or Negative change. The idea is not to hold a grudge about people’s past actions towards you and give them a chance to prove through their actions not words. For example: My family cares about me a lot more than they did in the past, so can’t still hold them accountable for their past actions. I need to move on from what happened in the past to accept the present. Similarly my Relationship with a close friend is not the same, I can see it in her actions. We need to accept the fact that People, Relationship and circumstances keeps on changing and for our own PEACE and HAPPINESS we must accept that.
“Ego says – Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel inner peace. Spirit says – Find your inner peace and then everything will fall into place.”Marianne Williamson