Why can’t you just move on? It’s been a long time!!

Think twice before you say this to someone who has decided to confide in you.

You’re telling someone to stop holding on to their past, as if they like being stuck in the same place. As if they like freezing up out of fear every time they see the sky gets dark. Every time they go outside.

Why can't you just move on? It's been a long time!!

“Trauma permanently changes us.”

This is the big. scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger; a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me. You are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life warts, wisdom, and all with courage.”

Why can't you just move on? It's been a long time!!

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