The older I get, the more reflective and observant I become of myself and others. Instead of judging someone for who they are, I try to understand the reason and root cause of their behaviour.
The root cause of seeking outside validation behavior is low self-esteem and lack of reassurance. When we seek outside validation, we are often unsure of ourselves. We lack confidence in who we are, what we’re doing, and how we feel. And so, we look to others to confirm or approve of what we say, think, feel and who we are.
This sense of inferiority arises from many factors. Some relate to your natural personality, while others stem from external influences such as your upbringing, cultural experience, education, and work life.
People who constantly struggle with lower self esteem is because they either see themselves as victims of life. For them life is a race with only a winner and a loser, they might try desperately to seek approval or validation from other people. I can relate because I once saw myself as a victim (emotionally) , and before I finally found my voice and myself, I also sought approval and validation from others around me.
Trust me, the best gift you can give yourself is self-validation instead of outside validation
Self validation statement may sound like ⬇️
- It’s okay that I said no
- I was right to set that boundary
- I am tired and I need to get some rest
- I did well today
- Hang in, their…. Better days are ahead
- Wow, I look good
- Its okay to have a bad day
- Today I am struggling with….., Let’s work on it later
Factors to keep in mind when your self esteem gets down :-
- Do not get offended by others, opinion about you, its just their inexperienced thoughts, not facts.
- Don’t seeks outside acceptance, rather LEARN to accept yourself.
- Stop comparing yourself with others, we are humans born to be different, not carbon copies like machines.
- No matter how much people around you look differently, don’t change yourself just to be accepted by them. Look around, there are always a few folks who will love you the way you are and who you are.
- Don’t wait for a miracle to happen. Everyday is an opportunity to change your life. You just need to start working towards your betterment.
- Have an Abundance Mindset. You must believe there is plenty of riches to go around and life isn’t a competition, with a winner or loser. They are simply content running their own race
- There are always two types of people
- People who criticize their life, people and every thing that’s not right.
- People who work towards changing all the aspects of the life they are not happy about
- Pick one side
How to stop seeking validation:
- Be mindful
- Keep track of your everyday achievements
- There is no hint of self-obsession in this point
- Rather this tracking will ensure that you are aware of your self worth each second
If we think all the time, in our life we being the best, & right always, Trust We all have LEARNT nothing from LIFE. We than tagged as educated blockheads or buffoons.
We have to swim across the current of difficult days, to reach the shore of better times in life, which is full of glitter
Not everything or everyone we loose is a Loss, at times through these are the balance sheet of good relationship built.Apurva
Patience is not about the ability to wait, its but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.