What is “Self-Soothing”? A Valuable Lifetime Skill or Waste of time!!

What is Self-Soothing?

Being able to tolerate and soothe a painful feeling makes you more resilient.

Most people don’t give much thought to self-soothing. Yet it is a powerful ability to have and one of the most important life skills you can learn.

Self-soothing can get you through some of the most challenging days or moments of your life by helping you manage feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, or grief. It can make you more resilient as a person. In fact, a 2019 study, (Sar and Sevda, et al.), found that shame-prone women who engaged in purposeful self-soothing were better able to get their emotional needs met.

Self-Soothing

Why do call Self-Soothing a “Lifetime Skill”

  • Most people don’t give much thought to self-soothing. Yet it is a powerful ability to have and one of the most important life skills you can learn.
  • For many, self-soothing comes naturally because they learned it organically from their parents. This happens simply and automatically when parents soothe their children.
  • By listening carefully to a long story about something hurtful or unfair that happened to their child that day; by sitting with calm, quiet empathy through their small daughter’s tantrum; by lying next to their child to help him fall asleep after a nightmare; by smoothing their distraught child’s forehead. These are the ways that emotionally present parents teach self-soothing to their children.

Self-soothing can get you through some of the most challenging days or moments of your life by helping you manage feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, or grief. It can make you more resilient as a person. In fact, a 2019 study, (Sar and Sevda, et al.), found that shame-prone women who engaged in purposeful self-soothing were better able to get their emotional needs.

4 Steps to Learn Self-Soothing

  • Make a list of possible activities that you think might be soothing for you. You will have this initial group of possible strategies ready to try when you need them.
  • Watch for strong feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, or any other feeling that is too sharp or painful to manage. These are your chances to try out your list.
  • Try different strategies at different times, since different strategies may work in different situations and with different feelings. Try one strategy and if it doesn’t work, try another.
  • If one of your strategies isn’t good, mark it off. Add new ones as they occur to you.
Self-Soothing

-Apurva

Self-Soothing

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